Muslim Homeschooler is back, though she is more of a Muslim Mommy these days.
Some major changes my life went through in the past year, in order of importance:
– The M key on my keyboard ran away.
-We, as in my husband and I (oh did I mention that I got married?) went for Hajj last year.
– I got married to a great man.
-I had a baby girl.
-I had an emergency c-section. Remembering it makes me want to cry.
-I like my mother-in-law :). She’s cool.
-I started a home-based business via Etsy.
Major changes, yes. I feel like a totally different person. I lost so much of my former self, yet gained so much. Anyways, I’ll be back for something more exciting once I’ve had a chance to rest my vegetative mommy brain which had to wake up twice last night.
So… I was wondering… How do YOU discipline your kids?? What do you do when they start acting fresh and answering back with witty comments for which you have no match? What WOULD or do you do if they say “stupid” or “idiot”?
Is good ol’ fashioned spanky the best way to go?
Or perhaps yelling…
Or isolating (time out!)
I’ve been wondering about this quite a bit. I’ve been around lots of kids lately… ranging from almost 2-11 and every parent obviously has their unique approach. But some just don’t work. And some just leave you SO frustrated… You feel like pulling your hair out and shutting yourself in your room, not wanting to see those kids ever again!
Heh, being a parent is already one tough job, but MOST parents send their kids to school, which means they don’t have to deal with them AS much. When you’re homeschooling your kids, it’s so much harder. I’ve also noticed that a lot of times, it’s hard to have patience while teaching your own child. It’s pretty easy to just lash out on them when they don’t understand something or do it the wrong way or do SOMETHING (even if it’s the tiniest thing in the world) wrong. I personally believe that discipline isn’t just for the kids, it’s for you as well. I know, I know… I don’t have much of an idea what it’s like raising kids (yet), but I try to learn from everyone and everything before I have kids of my own… (I kind of think it’s important to start training yourself from before… successful parenting isn’t one of those things that come naturally. That’s a lie.)
What is your unique approach? How well does it work?
Maud went to college.
Sadie stayed at home.
Sadie scraped life
With a fine-tooth comb.
She didn’t leave a tangle in.
Her comb found every strand.
Sadie was one of the livingest chits
In all the land.
Sadie bore two babies
Under her maiden name.
Maud and Ma and Papa
Nearly died of shame.
When Sadie said her last so-long
Her girls struck out from home.
(Sadie had left as heritage
Her fine-tooth comb.)
Maud, who went to college,
Is a thin brown mouse.
She is living all alone
In this old house.
hahahaha. I love this :D. I don’t endorse bearing babies under your maiden name, but the point is… going to college doesn’t have to mean you ‘ll have a great life. Take Maud for example :D.
This is something I wrote in my “journal” and thought I’d share it. It’s just a bunch of things I think I needed to have (or revive once in a while) if I wanted to make hifdh one of my priorities. This is a reminder to myself before anyone else.
Sleep with a yearning… dreaming of the day you will finally accomplish your goal, your dream… what would it feel like? Imagine the overwhemlimg happiness your heart will feel, try to feel it at thatmoment.. have a strong urge, so strong, you can feel your heart thumping when you think about what you have to accomplish. The sense of urgency, the yearning MUST be constantly renewed! Alsmost everyday..
Keep a list of motivations with you… why are you doing what you’re doing? Why do you want this thing so badly?
Be fresh and clean before starting. Honestly, you can’t sit down and memorize looking like a melted ice cream made of yukhy sweat. One look at the mirror would make you wanna go back to bed or something. Freshen up. I can’t put my mind on anything when I don’t feel clean. Your physiology has a lot to do with the state of your mind… which is why wudhu rocks so much :D. And perfume is awesome too. You see, this is when you put perfume on! When you pray and memorize or do ibadah, not when you go out (unless your going out without some perfume is a risk for humanity). Clean your “memorization nook” clean, free of clutter. It messes with your mind.
Form a web of consistency – EVERYDAY! Don’t miss even ONE day! It will mess up your entire schedule/cycle. Before fajr is the best time for memorizing… or even after fajr.
“The night of the true student of knowledge differs from the nights of the heedless and the negligent. His/her nights are filled with worship standing before Allah (SWT) whereby he asks him of His blessings, seeks forgiveness for his shortcomings, requesting all that he wishes for and beseeching him in his complaints… The scholars never thought that there could be a student of knowledge or a person of ‘ilm who slept the whole night without there being some form of worship therein. In fact, they used to criticize anyone who fell short in that!!”
It can be hard at first to wake up and hour before fajr, but if you take the necessary steps, it becomes easier.
First, ask for Allah’s help.
Sleep early. k. I know that probably doesn’t sound cool… but face the facts. If you sleep at 1 am, there is no way you’ll wake up at 5… and if you were to wake up, you’d probably just fall right back down, thinking you were actually dreaming, and then you’d wake up in the morning feeling like a failure :(. Boo hoo.
Don’t touch that shaitan button! Do they have alarms without that unmentionable thing!? Cause if they did, life would be a lot easier don’t you think (oh but wait, we’d just turn the alarm OFF instead!)? Once you form the habit of waking up at a certain time, you won’t even need that alarm clock… as much. Don’t ever think you can wake up on your own because you can’t. It’s CRITICAL that you constantly CONSTANTLY ask for Allah’s help, for NOTHING is possible without Him.
Get rid of the shaitan – Say authubillah as soon as you wake up. Take Allah’s name and get rid of shaitan’s knots and get up right AWAY! Don’t stall and skip all the thinking. You know the whole… “oh yeh I’ll get up in 5 minutes… ugh stupid alarm clock, it’s so loud… oh my bed feels really comfy… i’ll get up in 5 minutes and… (then u start thinking of everything you needa to today and then you fall back asleep)…”
k, that feels better 🙂 I needed a reminder.
*I wrote this sonnet for Lit class… And I have to say, I’m proud of it 😀 since it’s the first time I successfully found rhyming words.*
To a Mother…
They rough hands more soothing than lavender,
Thy motherly whiff more calming than chamomile.
Thy resistance is strong as that of a fir,
And they beauty and grace condensed to a smile.
They anger can be more stinging than ginger,
Yet thy good humored words more sweet than honey.
They wise advice more euphoric than pepper,
Thy velvety touch softer than that of a bunny.
You bore me patiently as you would a garden,
Until flowers flawless and leaves whole.
You ensured I felt I was in Eden,
When in reality, for you, it was a pit hole.
I cannot repay in worldly measures,
Thus your reward shall be heavenly pleasures.